You can’t judge a book by it’s cover

Someone brought a list of English expressions to an open conversation time for clarification. One of the expressions was: “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” Although trying to get conversation out of this was like pulling teeth – because that’s how it often seems to go – I was struck by the statement. There’s one person that perhaps I kind of (unwisely) leeched onto when I first got here…and I made some big time assumptions about her. Although I’ve occasionally heard preambles to some of her chapters, her book is glued shut to me.

I also totally misunderstood a dude in his late 50s or so. I thought he was an offbeat wanderer dude who is incredibly quiet until he starts talking…and then good night if you don’t have a couple hours to sit and listen (and try to or pretend to try to understand). It turns out, despite his appearance, he is well-educated, well-known, well-read, and pretty well-respected by many people in this town. And he’s loyal, complimentary of my lousy attempts at makiato, and just plain old cool…yet still an offbeat wanderer dude who is one of the quirkiest people I’ve met here. There are loads of other examples on my lamesauce assumptions-based-on-“covers” skills.

I wonder sometimes what my “cover” looks like to people here – not what I look like, but what people assume about me. I don’t have to wonder too much about some people: “You are American – you are rich. You are perhaps my only chance to get out of here so I’ll sweet-talk and bribe you and see if you’ll get me a visa.” Others perhaps see me as a way to improve their English (and others perhaps assume that I’m friendly with them so that I can improve in Albanian). Others assume that I’m getting paid big bucks to live here – otherwise why else would I have come. Others make assumptions about my dating history based on my birthplace and age; about my intelligence based on my 3rd-grade vocabulary in their language; and about whatever else. Others, however, certainly still had/have assumptions…but their curiosity and friendship are allowing them to open the book and read a smidge. Hopefully I’m a book worth reading. And hopefully it’s not just Me that they’re reading.