beauty and yuck

After being out of Kosova for 2 weeks (retreat, vacation, & a conference), much to my surprise and delight, I was jolly excited to get back! When I and my colleagues were driving back from Macedonia, the weather was icy, foggy, and all-around gray. I prayed out loud, “God, it would be just swell if Kosova had sunshine today.” Well – right after we got into Kosova, the clouds opened, the sun broke through, and gorgeous Kosova appeared. The right-after-rain colors appeared and were quite glorious, and I had trouble keeping my mouth from yacking, “Golly, it sure is pretty” over and over. Mind you, this is after seeing flippin’ Athens, pristine and perfect S. Germany, and majestic Struga…and, surprise, even with the litter and potholes, it was lovely. (ps - and we made it through just before a rock slide that gave others a 4-hr. detour).

Sigh.

A few days later, however, I saw the ugliest and grossest sight I’ve seen in Kosova. While jogging, I came across an animal stomach here and a blob of intestines there. Although I had occasionally seen a few dumpages of entrails along the road before, I was not prepared to see post-butcher-fest of a village. NASTY. There was bright red blood across the road, and I threw a rock in the middle of it to not soil my already-gross sneaks. Skin, tufts of fur, and lots of other animal parts were strewn alongside of the road. I thought that perhaps that something was amiss – that unfriendly neighbors were responsible. But, no, I guess that’s just what happens there. I for one hope to not stumble on that again!

Other toughies - that are real toughies:
...good friends who are living on very little food wise to make it to the next paycheck - meaning a little flour, a little beans, and no meat, fruit, & veggies
…another good friend who has 9 teeth that will be pulled - not to mention the loads of kids with black teeth
… a gal who is getting married and who, like many, talks more of the chance to get out of Kosova than of any semblance of love for the guy she’s marrying
…a buddy who is only 19 years old and has already given up on his dream to go to art school
…another friend who laughs and drinks his frustration (temporarily) away – he says he feels stuck in a cage with very little chance of getting out or of any hope that the cage will become more livable
…a taxi driver in a nice pin-striped suit that is probably his only outfit. He was so thin.
…older men with wheelbarrows offering to wheel cabbage heads or potatoes to peoples’ homes
…the cute and trendy car wash guys near our place who, given a different birthplace, would be frat boys with popped collars and headed for MBAs but are instead washing cars 12 hours/day 6or7days/week
...the students in my English Hour club thinger who talk of wanting to have more than 2 hours of school/day - they have class for 25-30min with as many as 45 students crammed in a room.
...the first year teachers who weren't paid a cent last year

And this is just a sampling. Honestly - I don't know what to do with these. I want to be aware of beauty and ingenuity and appreciate it - but I also want to be wise and understanding that what I think (at first, second, and third glance) to be "unique cultural experiences," "resourcefulness," etc. is often a really difficult life. How to process? What to say & do? How to pray? Who to give to? How to be compassionate without feeling guilty? What to learn?