“Say something!” (Fol diçka)

If conversation lags, someone invariably says, “Say something!” This is especially difficult when I didn't understand the prior conversations...or when I know that what I feel like saying is hardly appropriate at the present. I would much prefer leading questions - to keep conversation going, why not ask a question like: “What did you think of last night’s episode of The Office [or Three Fat Germans]?” or “Boy, it sure is great that it’s raining! Do you think we’ll have fewer water outages?” Thinking positively (which gets harder to do as the mountain disappears into a big cloud of fog for the next months) allows me to believe that it's a hospitality thing – letting the guest pick the topic. Still, it often feels aggressive and a dumpage of pressure.

On the other hand, “series of questioning” arises at unexpected moments. When we buy bread from otherwise nice bread gals: “That’ll be 35 cents. And how much do you pay for rent? How much do you pay your teacher? How much do you make a month?”
From our landlord: “Who were you out with last night? [a friend] Where did you go? [the same place we always go when you always ask] What time did you come back? [not too late] Why didn’t you take your roommate? [we're not joined at the hip...]”
From our neighbor: “Where is (your roommate)? What is she doing? Who is she with? When will she be back? How much did she pay for her car? ” (followed by raised eyebrows and a slow nod).
(Just for the record: I now smile sweetly and answer every question I don't feel like answering with the Albanian version of “eh…”).

From Roberta’s standpoint: I’m not asked questions when I want to be and I am when I’m not. It’s grrrratING!! Pout, pout.

Another thing - Yet when I ask questions… 2 usual responses. One is a blank stare. The other is a totally unrelated answer that has something to do with “Arr! We are Albanian! We were ruled by the Ottomans!” or "Thank you, America, for saving us..." or “Here is a stream of totally unrelated strong opinions about something that Roberta couldn't care less about."

Deep breath...remember, bertie, you're the one who is the guest; you're the one who needs to do the adjusting. [What does this mean, though? Does it mean it's appropriate for me to ask the questions they ask me? Is it a way of showing that I care? Is it offensive that I don't ask what are considered rather intrusive questions in the States?] As for the blank stares, bertie, communism isn't known for encouraging people to think for themselves, nor is Islam huge about introspection, psychoanalysis, and knowing thyself. Give 'em some slack... Bertie...your way isn't the only way nor is it the "right" way. Deep breaths...chill.