Girl 1 is my age and is the main supporter of her family of 8…she’s often worried about money and how to keep her younger siblings out of trouble. She chain smokes and barely eats.
Girl 2 wants to wait a year to get married but is afraid the boyfriend will lose interest. She’s assuming she’s getting married this summer. From what I hear, he’s kind of a stinker (but, with so many men living abroad, the pickin' is few...what an awful expression).
Girl 3 has a control-freak older brother (a couple of them, really) who monitors when she goes out, with whom she goes, etc. and sometimes doesn't let her out at all! The mom, too, is under the control of the 20-something “man of the house.” The one brother pretends to hit his sister and wonders why I don’t find it funny. (although not everyone makes jokes about hitting women, I’ve been surprised at what some people find humorous).
Girl 4 is a year or 2 younger than me…and is divorced. Furthermore, she (like many others) works in a 15 x 15 room 12 hrs/day 6 days/week.
Girl 5 is 18 and constantly has older men whistle at her. She ignores them, but they are pretty persistent. Although I'm not certain of this, I wonder if catcalls and "such" is becoming more and more common.
Girl 6 is a teacher and still hasn’t gotten paid (150E) for last month. This, too, is very, very common.
Girl 7 is working incredibly hard at the university to learn English with the hopes of leaving someday. All seven girls have expressed interest in leaving; all seven have at least hinted (if not outright asked) for me to get them visas to the States.
These 7 "girls" (ages 19-24--women are "girls" until they're married) are the people with whom I've spent the most time here in the last 8 (!!) months. Of course there are brighter things I could write about them: going to school with one who is a student and one who is a teacher, sitting on the floor of their homes eating out of the communal pite pan, giggling over a movie, praying together in the back of a taxi, etc. Yet tonight I was struck by how heavy some peoples' - every person's - stories are (here and everywhere else), how little I can truly empathize (different from sympathize) with many of their struggles, and how much I've grown to really care about them.
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3 comments:
It's unfortunate that the sad stories are the most common. Maybe efforts at inter-gender respect should join the efforts of inter-ethnic tolerance.
Hey there! I was going to leave a message under my name, but I can't remember what it is - my blogger username that is. :) I enjoyed reading your last couple of postings. I just wanted to let you know that you've been on my mind recently and will be in my prayers. I don't think I ever told you how much I appreciated your Christmas package but it was so thoughtful and I look forward to catching up sometime soon. Love, Emily
em - i hope your rehearsals are going well. keep me up-to-date with all of your "news." :)
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