Weddings are mad fun. And take up an amazing amount of time here. I spent about 12 hours over 3 days at a wedding…and I was only there for about a third of it. Incredible (and, I’ll have you know, exhausting!). This wedding started on Wednesday evening. I went on Thursday night for dancing and tea with mainly aunts, uncles, and cousins who live on the block (30-ish peeps). Friday night was, I’m guessing, about the same thing. Saturday was a big honkin’ dinner (for about 150 people), dancing, singing, and a trip to the village to pick up the bride’s stuff. Sunday was the “pick up the bride” day. I got to ride with the immediate family (one of about 30 cars), clap, and wave a red hankie out the window. All caught up in the experience of it all, I was munching on little cookies, drinking peach juice, and snapping my fingers like the best of them. The bride came out of the house—and her face did not change expressions for the next 3 hours. Her eyes down, her posture straight, and her face completely expressionless, she was greeted by her new family and whisked off to her new home. As we were leaving, I saw her sisters…crying, holding one another, saying goodbye to their sis. Since I was with the groom’s family, everyone I knew there was dancing, grinning, and whooping…and I went from being all cheery to a little mopey. Although I think Albanians generally feel sorry for me, being apart from my family and all, I was surged with sympathy for ladies here as most are (or will be) apart from their initial family, too.
That said, the wedding was quite a hoot of a time. The young women sang their hearts out while doing fancy things with tambourines, the men did traditional line dances (the big swooping on the knees like in Fiddler on the Roof…only without bottles on their heads), the older women sat with their white head coverings and chatted, and a family of musicians played oboe-type instruments and big (LOUD) drums while anywhere from 20-60 people danced around them. Some “cultural” things happened that surprised me (are they cultural? Family traditions? Spontaneous?): like when the groom-to-be was dancing and his shirt was ripped off and lit on fire. Or when middle-aged women lit dishtowels on fire and danced in the middle of the circle of the dancing circle. Or when the older men would down a cup of tea and smash the cup on a brick wall. Or when all different ages of people would sporadically yell “Upa!” and kiss one another on the cheeks. Fascinating.
I did not go to the women’s day on Monday when all of the women from the groom’s side get together (rather formally) and meet the new bride. All of the women who have married recently (maybe within the last 5-10 years?) wear their wedding outfits (pretty cool if you ask me…but I don’t think this would go over well in the States—can you imagine if loads of women would show up to a wedding wearing their bridal gowns? Kind of funny...). I have, however, been able to go to 2 other women’s days (with my neighbor lady and with my teacher). Yet even though I missed “so much” of this particular wedding’s festivities, I got to meet a lot of young women who I now run into frequently in Gjilan. Horray for new connectionsJ And I got to see a smidge more of “the real” Kosova.
2 comments:
Sounds like so much fun! It makes me remember all the crazy weddings I went to in India. I'm glad you are having such rich cultural experiences.
Roberta,
I've enjoyed your posts since you started your blog. They're fun to read and the pictures are great (as well as the ones showing the smoking hotness that is yourself.) I spent quite a while in Gnjilane, Prishtina, Vitina, Mitrovica and Prizren with the Army. I soaked up as much of the culture as I could under the confines of military service and am jealous of your opportunity to live as a local.
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